Utterly unbelievable. Pathetic. Deplorable. Disgusting. Should I keep going?

How the hell do you lose to the Mets - the Mets for Christ’s sake - when you lead by three runs with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and one of their worst hitters, which is saying a lot for that team that has one of the worst offenses in MLB, is at the plate? Here’s how.

Your closer, who really shouldn’t be a closer because his ERA is 4.95, his WHIP is 1.550, and every time he pitches he makes us squirm because the basepaths are more clogged than the midday Cross Bronx Expressway, throws a meatball curveball to a guy who, let me repeat myself, is a horrible hitter.

Rather than throw heat past this bum, Bednar and catcher Austin Wells decided that a first pitch curveball was the right choice, and Bednar then threw it right down the middle and guess what? Even a bum like Tyrone Taylor can hit it to Manhattan, which he did. Tie game.

And of course, once it went to extra innings you knew it was ballgame over for the Yankees because they are the worst extra innings road team (16-31) in MLB since 2020 when the free runner procedure began, and sure enough, it was.

Seriously, what are we doing here? It was the first time the Mets have won a game they were trailing in the ninth inning. Is it any surprise they ended that folly against the Yankees?

I’ll have more on this travesty below in the recap, but now, let’s have a conversation about Wells. I’m done with this guy. We should not be subjected to watching this player because he is an absolute drag on the entire team. And the backup catcher, JC Escarra, is no better, but I’ll go easy on him because he’s a backup and I expect nothing from him.

It’s hard to believe how useless Wells has been this year, but really, how useless he has been his entire time with the Yankees when you consider that when he was coming through the minors, all we heard was how good a hitter he was going to be. Wells has now played 296 MLB games and his career slash line is .218/.297/ .405 for an OPS of .698.

And as bad as it has been, it’s only getting worse and we are getting to a point now where Brian Cashman has to realize that the scouts blew it on this guy, he’s never going to hit in the majors, and he needs to be relegated to backup duty. In corresponding moves, Escarra needs to go to Triple-A where he belongs, and a new catcher - one who bats right-handed for crying out loud - has to be acquired.

We are midway through May and Wells has five RBI. Five! His pathetic .173 average ranks 213th out of 219 players with at least 120 plate appearances, and his .556 OPS ranks 201st. He and Escarra have combined for 11 RBI, the fewest of any catcher tandem in MLB. They are both automatic outs, and on a team that has three other stiffs hitting under .200 with on-base percentages under .300, it’s killing the Yankees.

Wells is so bad that he didn’t even start Sunday’s game yet he was still involved in just about every bad thing that happened leading to the loss. He entered in the sixth after Escarra was pinch hit for, and the Mets immediately scored two runs off batting practice pitcher Ryan Yarbrough with Wells behind the plate.

In his first at bat in the seventh, with the bases loaded and a chance to add on to a 6-3 lead, Wells tapped back to the pitcher for the final out. Then came the pitch decisions in the ninth with Bednar, and finally, with men on first and third and one out in the 10th, Wells basically assured the loss by grounding into a double play.

After Wells hit a ground ball single Saturday night, Aaron Boone said, “Last at-bat, he smoked the ball, so I’m hoping that’s something that kind of gets him rolling.” Or not.

Always ready with an excuse, Boone said Wells has been running up against some tough left-handed matchups. Oh, you mean the same lefties who face every other batter in MLB? And why is Wells put in that situation? Because both he and Escarra bat left-handed and Cashman hasn’t had a righty-swinging catcher since Kyle Higashioka in 2024, not that it mattered because he couldn’t hit either.

“He’s just struggling to get on time,” Boone said. “To me, it’s been a little bit of a timing issue, which could be, mechanically, how you’re starting your load and all that.”

Load was an interesting word there because what that explanation was a load of shit. It’s pretty simple to me and I’m sure to you - Wells can’t hit major-league pitching.

Cashman has to fix the bullpen first and foremost, but he cannot bypass any possible chance he has of bringing in a right-hand hitting catcher who doesn’t swing a bat that is essentially an invisible light saber.

“Obviously, we gotta get him going,” Boone said. “We want to get him going, because when he’s right, he’s a presence, especially down at the bottom of the order.”

No, what they need to do is get Wells going straight to the bench because when has he ever been a presence anywhere in the order for more than maybe an occasional hot week?

➤ Another brilliant performance for Cam Schlittler who, every time he pitches, is the no doubt about it player of the game. He dominated the Mets for 6.2 innings, his only wobble coming in the seventh when he gave up a solo homer to Juan Soto and then walked his second batter of the game which ended his night. He allowed just two hits, struck out nine, overcame getting drilled on two comebackers, and he also made an outstanding fielding play on a swinging bunt. He then watched Fernando Cruz and David Bednar finish his sixth win, one that lowered his ERA to 1.35 and his WHIP to 0.783. Since Schlittler debuted last season, he has a 2.23 ERA and only one pitcher has been better in that span: Paul Skenes of the Pirates at 2.20. Crazy.

➤ It was nice to see Jazz Chisholm finally do something. He was on base four times - two singles, a double and a walk, stole a base, scored a run and drove in two. Of course, he had to have a knucklehead moment when he got picked off first late in the game, but that’s Jazz and you have to live with it. In the Yankees’ three-run third against Clay Holmes, all with two outs, Ben Rice and Aaron Judge singled, Cody Bellinger had an RBI double and then Jazz delivered a two-run single. And in the fifth Jazz walked and later scored on Spencer Jones’ RBI single.

➤ Ben Rice also had three hits including a solo homer in the ninth off Craig Kimbrel who I can’t believe is still on a team because he’s so shot. Jones had his first two-hit game and one of those was a 111 mph liner that hit Holmes in the leg, and after the game it was revealed that he suffered a broken fibula. As if things couldn’t get any worse for the Mets. And Anthony Volpe made a couple nice plays in the field and while he didn’t get a hit, he did walk three times so that’s a positive.

➤ It wasn’t all good for the Yankees. Trent Grisham (.169 average through Friday), Ryan McMahon (.190) and Austin Wells (.173) went a combined 0-for-13 with six strikeouts. Batting Grisham leadoff continues to be idiotic - he needs to be way down the order. Just when we thought McMahon was coming around, his latest abyss is now 0-for-19. And Wells, my God, it’s unfathomable how useless he is at the plate. We’re in mid-May and he has five RBI.

➤ The big news before the game was that Max Fried is on the injured list due to what was described as an elbow bone bruise. It was obviously not the worst news we could have heard, but now they’re going to be without him for I’d bet at least a month. Not good, and those two words could be used to describe the rest of the weekend, too.

➤ Where do I even start with this performance? This one paled in comparison to the horror of Sunday, but still, this is the kind of game that sucks your soul out of your body and thankfully, most of my attention Saturday night was on the Sabres-Canadiens game because the Yankees were gross in every way.

➤ Let’s start with Carlos Rodon. I knew this was going to be a rough beginning for him as he gets back into the groove, and it sure has been. Two starts, eight innings, eight walks, a 5.63 ERA and a 1.685 WHIP. Ugly, and with Fried out, Rodon has to step up because when Gerrit Cole returns, you can almost be guaranteed that he’ll undergo some early struggles.

➤ Rodon started well as he retired eight of the first nine men and had five strikeouts. But with two outs in the third it all went to hell. Carson Benge doubled, Bo Bichette and Juan Soto walked, and then Rodon threw a wild, wild pitch and it caromed crazily off the wall and back toward the field. Rodon came running in and caught it with his pitching hand and in one motion tried to get Benge. Instead, he threw it as wildly as the original pitch and that allowed two runs to score. Then in the fourth he got two outs but somehow walked Austin Slater and gave up an RBI double to Brett Baty who was a pain in the ass in this series. That ended his night. From there, the totally unreliable bullpen pissed the rest of the game away as Jake Bird, Brent Headrick and Tim Hill all gave up runs.

➤ Now to the offense. Ridiculous. The Mets used an opener, Huascar Brazoban who faced four men and retired them all. Then came the bulk guy, lefty David Petersen, who has sucked all year. The Yankees should have creamed this guy, and they sort of did, but despite six hits and three walks, they scored only two runs and struck out eight times. For the night they went 3-for-15 with RISP and left 11 men on base.

➤ Chisholm struck out to end the third and fifth innings, both with two men on, the second time coming right after Paul Goldschmidt had an RBI single that got the Yankees within 3-2. In the sixth with two men on, Wells struck out and Rice grounded out. And then in the seventh, what a maddening failure.

➤ Judge doubled and scored when Benge dropped Bellinger’s routine fly ball to right. Goldschmidt got plunked and Chisholm got lucky when his ill-advised bunt was popped up, but it somehow dropped between the mound and second without being caught to load the bases. In other words, the Mets were being the Mets, but the Yankees couldn’t take advantage. That’s because ex-Yankee Luke Weaver entered and he proceeded to strikeout Amed Rosario and Grisham and got Volpe to ground out so the Yankees remained down 5-3. Unreal.

➤ Weaver pitched an easy eighth, and then Devin Williams - who sucked as a Yankee and has so far sucked as a Met - mowed them down 1-2-3 on 12 pitches. Oh, and the other ex-Yankee, Soto, was on base all four at-bats - two singles and two walks with a run scored. So yeah, hated almost every single minute of this game.

➤ Elmer Rodriguez was summoned in the wake of the Fried injury and the rookie had better command than his first two starts as he walked just one batter, but he also gave up five hits and three of those came in the fourth inning which led to the only run he allowed as Marcus Semien hit a two-out RBI double.

➤ Rodriguez only lasted 4.1 innings and that forced Boone to have to use long man Ryan Yarbrough, and there is nothing good about that because Yarbrough just doesn’t have anything left. He was lucky to escape a first-and-third jam in the fifth when Grisham made a diving catch of a sinking liner for the third out. But in the sixth, right after the Yankees had scored four times in the top half, Yarbrough and Bird quickly gave two back with Bird getting tagged for a two-run pinch-hit double by weak-ass No. 9 hitter Luis Torrens. To his credit, Bird got the next two men to cut short that rally and keep the Yankees up 5-3.

➤ The Yankees did a nice job against Mets starter Freddy Peralta. Rice hit a solo homer in the third and while there was nothing else until the sixth, they wound up drawing six walks which helped get him out of the game. Two of those walks started the sixth so in came Sean Manaea who is having a brutal season. The pathetic McMahon - who extended his misery to 0-for-23 - actually did something positive as he bunted the runners forward for the Yankees’ first sacrifice of the season. Goldschmidt was hit by a pitch to load the bases and Volpe came through with his first hit of the season, a clutch two-run single. Rosario hit a sac fly, and then the Yankees’ fourth run of the inning was a gift as Bichette dropped Grisham’s pop fly in shallow left that made it 5-1.

➤ The Yankees made it 6-3 in the seventh on two singles and two walks, the last of those drawn by Volpe who fell behind 0-2 and then took four straight balls. We’ve screamed for him to be a better on-base guy, and he’s done that so far as he’s walked seven times.

➤ It was all right there for the Yankees after Camilo Doval and Cruz bridged the game to Bednar in the ninth. But immediately, you smelled trouble. Benge and Bichette hit back-to-back singles before Bednar rebounded to get Soto on a force and he whiffed Vientos. That brought Taylor and his .188 average to the plate as a pinch hitter, and, well, you all saw what happened.

➤ In the 10th, with Williams on the mound, Max Schuemann whiffed but then free runner McMahon stole third and Volpe walked. Up came Wells, and down went the Yankees meaning Williams finished the weekend with a save and a win.

➤ In the bottom half, the Mets had runners on first and third with one out against Hill, the Yankees played a five-man infield which never works, and of course it didn’t here. Benge hit a chopper up the middle, Volpe and Schuemann collided trying to field it, and the winning run scored.

➤ Across the disastrous 2-7 road trip, the bullpen was 0-4 with a 5.40 ERA. Bednar, Cruz, Doval and Headrick each blew a save, and Bednar, Cruz, Headrick and Hill each suffered a loss. And how about this: The Yankees have not won a Subway Series at Citi Field since 2018. How is that possible?

So now, playing their worst baseball of the season, the Yankees are confronted with first really big week, and why is that? Altogether now, because even though it’s “only” May, every game matters. And these are big games at Yankee Stadium as the Yankees host the loathsome Blue Jays for four games and the ever-annoying first-place Rays for three.

They start the week three behind the Rays, and it is very easy for me to believe that they’re going to be several games further back by the end of next week.

First things first, and naturally, the Blue Jays have started to wake up from their season-long coma and have won three of their last four games as they arrive, looking to beat the shit out of the Yankees like they did in embarrassing fashion throughout 2025. Not looking forward to this week at all.

➤ 1B Vlad Guerrero: He’s off to a weird start because his on-base is .373, but he just hit his third homer of the year Sunday. Of course, he hasn’t faced the Yankees yet so I fully expect all of his numbers are going to jump forward this week.

➤ IF Ernie Clement: Our Rochester guy is once again playing great and continuing on as one of the peskiest hitters around with a .282 average.

➤ 3B Kazuma Okamoto: The Japanese free agent has been quite a signing and he leads the team with 10 homers and 27 RBI

➤ DH George Springer: He missed a few weeks with an injury but he’s back in time to haunt the Yankees which he’s done for more than a decade.

➤ RP Louie Varland: His numbers are almost hard to believe as he has a 0.38 ERA in 23.2 innings across 22 innings.